I now pronounce you, Gopher & Noah
by Warlord Conspiracy
Summary: Gopher loses it and decides its high time he becomes Noah's wife...er husband.


The blaring sunlight shown into Noah's face as he awoken. He looked around to see that he wasn't in his normal room; he was in a penthouse hotel room. But how? He never remembered moving from his bedroom last night, let alone going to a hotel room. Then again, he didn't even remember night time.

_Okay. Be calm, he_ thought to himself, _let's see….what do you remember about yesterday? Well I woke up and ate the breakfast Gopher made for me. Hmm….what happened later in the day? Well, Gopher told me he had something for me….then I closed my eyes….and that's it. Did gopher do something to me? _

He slowly attempted to stand from the hotel bed but then fell right back down. For some reason he felt as if he had gotten really drunk but only had the headache part of the hangover. He scratched his head and slowly lifted his arm out. But then he saw it. He saw the answer to all his problems. There, on his left hand, on his 4th finger, was a golden ban. That's right people, a wedding ring.

Now you're probably as confused as Noah was. Here's what happened;

As you all know, Gopher has somewhat of a…obsession for Noah. As in he's like a teenage girl who has a crush on a famous boy.

Anyway, well Gopher decided it was high time he and Noah were betrothed to one another. So as Noah thought earlier, Gopher did indeed tell him he had a huge surprise for him.

"Noah-sama ~," He said, "I have a huge surprise for you!" He cried _one that will truly…seal the deal…hehehehehe _He thought to himself

Noah, not eager at all to see what Gopher had in store for him, walked over to Gopher. "What is it Gopher? If it's about going into my collection, I'm not putting you in there," He sighed.

"No! No! You'll truly enjoy this Noah-sama," Gopher exclaimed, "Just close you're beautiful, I mean…uh….just close your eyes!" He commanded.

Noah just sat down and closed his eyes. Little did he know that behind him Gopher raised a needle that contained a drug that put Noah under. Gopher plunged it into his neck yet at the same time tried to be delicate, he couldn't bear to hurt his fair Noah, and within a millisecond; Noah was knocked out.

Now, Gopher hadn't thoroughly thought his plan thoroughly. Noah is a lot heavier than Gopher, and gopher isn't all that muscular considering he looks like a girl. So he attempted to lug Noah away. But it took him 88 tries to realize that it wasn't going to work. So he called a taxi and paid the driver $20 dollars if he would drag Noah to the car. When the driver asked why Noah looked dead, Gopher batted his eyes and claimed his fiancé was a very heavy sleeper.

After the taxi driver dragged Noah to the cab, he drove them to their destination; the 24 hour chapel in Las Vegas, Nevada. Luckily Gopher paid the taxi driver an extra $20 if he would drag Noah out again.

As they entered the chapel, they saw none other than the famous Justin Law finishing up a small wedding. Gopher ran over to Justin in excitement as he knew that within 20min, he would be Noah's wife…..er husband.

"JUSTIN!" Gopher cried as he ran over to Justin. Justin turned in amazement to see Gopher and Noah in such a place as a chapel.

"Ahh…Greetings my fellow (extremely annoying and uptight) gopher!" Justin said with a fake smile on his face, "What brings you and…mister Noah here today….wait….NOAH? WHATS THE MATTER WITH NOAH?" He exclaimed as he stared at dead looking Noah, "I hope you haven't come here for a funeral service!"

"No you idiot!" Gopher said as he used Noah to hit Justin, "Oh! My dear Noah-sama…..Gopher is sorry he used you as a weapon! Anyways Justin, Noah and I are here to become…HUSBAND AND WIFE ~ uhh….I mean husband and husband!" He said with Joy and excitement.

Justin stared at Gopher for a very long time…..he knew that Noah had no feelings like that for Gopher. To him, Gopher was merely his puppet, slave, dog, etc. but never a significant other! He was tempted to question this sudden engagement, but he didn't want to be hit again.

"Really? How…marvelous! I'm happy for you," Justin said again with a fake smile, "But I do question, what is wrong with Noah?" He asked with some concern

"Uh….well you see. My darling Noah-sama was very tired this morning and I couldn't get him to wake up, so I decided just to drag him to the Chapel since he wishes us to get married," Gopher said, "And you mustn't disobey Noah-sama…." He said with a strong killing intent.

"Uhh….I see?" Justin said with confusion, "Well then, shall we get started on your…wedding?" He asked

"YES! NOW!" Gopher squealed.

So Justin did the whole wedding thing and stuff and the "In sickness and in health" crap. Then he finally said, "I now pronounce you, Husband and…..Husband….you may kiss your….husband"

Gopher grabbed Noah and laid one on him. Some people find the bride's and groom's kiss touching and beautiful….this was far from that. Gopher was in a way making out with Noah even though he wasn't moving at all. Poor Justin became so grossed out by their snogging that he left and went to regurgitate.

Gopher became extremely horny due to his snogging with Noah. So he called another cab and told him to take them to the Vegas hotel, and well…he took him up to the penthouse. Then….he got….intimate…..and steamy with Noah, who was acting dead. I would go into details, but I prefer not to scar my readers….

So now were back to Noah waking up and being all confused and seeing the wedding ring on his finger. But then, he looks around and the room is a mess! Like doors are open, the bed is all screwed up, and then underpants are just lying on the ground. Unfortunately when he looked down he realized he was showing all his cable…..giving a show…..if you know what I mean.

He heard a random humming coming from the bathroom. He slowly walked over and opened the door to see none other than GOPHER. But not just gopher, it was NAKED GOPHER. For some reason gopher had been taking a shower or something.

"AHHH! NOAH-SAMA~" Gopher cried and glomped Noah.

"PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!" Noah cried as he slapped away, "WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE?"

"Were having our honeymoon Noah~ I figure since I'm the only one who can satisfy you and I already live with you that we should betroth one another!" Gopher said in a high pitched voice, "Plus, this way I can get into your collection….." he said with slight killing intent.

As Noah was about to yell at Gopher and punish him he looked over and saw a black towel. It was funny looking and looked hairy.

"Say Gopher? What's that towel you're holding?" He said. Then he noticed a container with red liquid in it, "And what's that?"

"The towel is made completely out of your hair Noah; I've been making it for years! This jar contains some blood you lost, I was planning on inserting it into me so then you would be a part of me!" Gopher said happily

Noah exploded at poor Gopher. He was yelling for 88 minutes straight. But then he said the words that broke poor Gophers little heart, "Plus…..Gopher….you know I have feelings for the Keishan….."

So Gopher became heartbroken and was forced to divorce Noah. However, he will always hold in his heart that hot night he shared with his beloved one. To this day he still creepily stalks Noah and begs to be a part of his collection, but at least now he knows that he has a part of Noah inside him…


End file.
